Breaking The Chain

I know that I run the risk of ticking off a few friends and family members, should they read this post, however, I am willing to take the chance! Call me crabby, call me old, call me insensitive…I really don’t care! I am so tired of my inbox being chock full of emails, sent with good intentions, I’m sure, but giving me just minutes to forward to 10, 20, 30 people before I break the chain and terrible things will befall me. First of all, I don’t have a lot of people in my address book and chances are that the ones that I do have, are the same people sending these emails in the first place…it’s a vicious cycle.

So far this month, it seems that my lack of forwarding could result in my losing all my money, getting cancer, letting children starve and being totally responsible for global warming! Then there are the emails from complete strangers that want to give me millions of dollars if I could just let them clear funds through my bank…yeah right! Sorry Bub, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck!

Not to sound like a total grump, I do get some really nice emails that say please forward… and once in a while I will send them along, but for the most part, I don’t. Hey, I’m being totally honest here. It’s nothing personal, I just hate chain letters.

Now some friends send me jokes, and I don’t mind, I enjoy a good joke, as long as I don’t have to send it on to everyone I’ve ever known!

After a while, these emails start to make me paranoid, if something goes wrong I think maybe it’s because I broke Cousin Betty’s chain…then I feel guilty, everyone missed the million dollars because Sunny copped out!

Does anyone else dislike these pesky emails? Or am I really the crabby old bat that most friends and family now think I am?

The Face Is Familiar

During my son’s recent visit, through an odd series of events, I happened to see his father (my ex-husband) for the first time in almost thirty years! Isn’t it funny how our minds work? No matter how much time passes, we picture that person as they were the last time we saw them.

He was in his late twenty’s when we married, and I was a young woman of nineteen. Our marriage ended when we were both in our 30’s. Now he is an old older gentleman getting ever so much closer to the big seven-oh!

I wonder if he noticed my jaw drop slightly upon seeing him after all these years. I hope not! He probably experienced the same feeling upon seeing the young ‘chick’ he once married, now a gray haired, old mature woman. It felt strange that someone you once were so close to, someone you had a child with, and someone you thought you would grow old with, is pretty much a stranger. Our lives have gone in different directions, and the only remote connection is our son.

I’m not sorry that our paths crossed, it reinforced the realization that I’m not going through this aging process alone, which is how I feel sometimes. Hmm…I wonder if we’d recognize each other in another thirty years!

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I apologize, to all of you wonderful people that like my writing enough to follow, for my lack of posts. As I mentioned my son was visiting for almost two weeks during which time my test results came back with a diagnosis of Diabetes. That revelation kind of took the ‘wind out of my sails’ for a few days!

Well as my dear Dad would say, “Onward and upward!”

A Little Behind

Please be patient with me as I am running behind with my blog. My son has been visiting for a few days and I have not had any time to write. I'd really like to thank you all for following 'Not Ready For The Pasture' and your kind comments, it means a great deal to me.

See you in a few days.

You Gotta Have Heart

For many of us, aging doesn’t come without some kind of health issue. It seems that I am destined to carry on my mother’s side of the family’s, ‘heart problems’. As I have mentioned in a previous post, my Mom passed away at the age of 66, and her mother passed away in her 60’s. My goal is to break this seemingly family tradition so I make a conscious effort to address any possible problems and nip them in the bud.

At a recent, routine visit to my cardiologist, I mentioned about experiencing some pain in my legs while walking; he recommended that I be checked for Peripheral Arterial Disease. The test checks for any clogs or circulatory problems in the legs and it’s easy and painless. I was given an appointment for the following week with the suggestion that I bring a pair of shorts to wear.

To be honest, I seldom wear shorts, mainly because I just don’t like how my legs look in them and, in fact, my shorts are still packed away since our move. The closest thing I have to a pair is actually pajama bottom shorts; I thought they would be okay, so that’s what I brought with me. After checking in, I was sent downstairs to the exam room; a very nice nurse had me change and prepare for the test. Once I was in my PAD designer wear jammy bottoms she fitted me with blood pressure cuffs on both arms and both ankles. After about 20 minutes of taking pressures she told me that I would need to walk on a treadmill for about 5 minutes in hopes that it would recreate the pain I had been experiencing. No problem! Well, maybe just a teensy one…the treadmill located in the exam room was broken so I would have to use the one down the hall. “It’s just a couple of doors down”, said the nurse.

So there I was, wearing a sweater with my short PJ bottoms, cuffs on both arms and legs, oh and I forgot to mention the little knitted socks she had stuck on my feet…a vision of loveliness! “Follow me”, she instructed, and out the door we went, smack into a previously empty waiting room, that was now FULL of people. Before the door of the exam room had totally closed, the phone rang…the nurse spun around and went back to answer it. The door closed and I’m locked out and clueless as to what direction I should be headed. I prayed that the floor would open up and swallow me but the only thing that opened was the elevator door and a half dozen more people joined the group. Please God, don’t let me know any of these people!

After what seemed like an eternity, the exam room door opened, “You’re still here!” the nurse exclaimed. “Where else would I be?” I replied through a totally forced smile. We marched down the hall, I did the treadmill test and then it was time for the dreaded walk back, my fingers crossed hoping that the Fashion Police were out to lunch!

Fifteen minutes later, I was all done, dressed and out the door. I was just about to press the elevator button when the nurse came running up, waving my pajama bottoms like a flag of surrender, “Hold on a minute, you forgot these!” I know I heard snickers from the waiting room as I finally made my exit!

On a serious note: I have lived with chronic heart disease for fifteen years, that’s about fourteen more years than I was given when first diagnosed. A little over two years ago I learned that I needed a defibrillator implant (ICD). I share this personal information with you, not for sympathy but as a friendly reminder to take care of your heart. Heart disease is the leading cause of death in America. Dying of embarrassment could be a close second!

Sing Along With Me!

Recently a friend send me an email with the following,

and I'd like to share it with you.

It's best when read whilst humming 'My Favorite Things'.

Maalox and nosedrops and needles for knittin',
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittin's,
Bundles of magazines tied up with string,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillacs, cataracts, hearing aids, glasses,
Polident, Fixodent, false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
Then I remember my favorite things
and then I don't feel so bad

Hot tea and crumpets,
and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food
and no food with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads
and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains,
confused brains,
and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures
and hair that is thinnin'.
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames
When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache,
When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel sooo baaad.