Please Pass The Earplugs

Do you know what it’s like to try and fall asleep with the racket raised by two cats a dog and a husband?

The racket I’m talking about is snoring! Now I’m not saying that I’m not guilty of a few grunts here and there but the four of ‘them’ are a regular ‘out of tune’ symphony. The sound that Lilly makes resembles what I would compare to banging on a bee’s nest with a stick. Bzzzzzzzz!

Molly, switches between an asthmatic snore and the sound of someone gasping for their last breath of air. Lucy doesn’t really snore but is prone to doggie dreams that result in a very high pitched whimper accompanied by leg and face twitches.

Now my husband is a symphony upon himself, he has snores that start with a large inhale followed by a quick succession of exhales that sound likes peeps. If you’ve ever watched the Three Stooges you will know exactly what I mean! Then there is the huge inhale snort and then…nothing, this is when I check to make sure he’s still breathing. He also excels at the snore-mumble, a combination of snoring and talking in his sleep.

With the four of them all at once, all that is missing is Arthur Fiedler to conduct!

The animals are pretty easy to quiet down, usually with just a gentle nudge. My husband, however requires a little more effort but I have discovered one thing that seems to work. I very, very gently touch the end of his nose, like a fly landing on it; sometimes I have to ‘land’ several times but eventually he tries to swat it away resulting in all kinds of strange noises, gasps and grunts and then…voila! He rolls over and continues sleeping…like a baby!

This may seem like a mean thing to do but it beats an elbow to the ribs...don't you think? Ha-ha!