Splitting Hairs

The other day I got a call from my good friend Viv who’s a few years younger than me and just a trifle vain. By the sound of her voice I was prepared to hear that something pretty terrible had happened. In fact, I thought she was about to hyperventilate!

“What’s wrong, I’m having a hard time understanding you…calm down okay?”
“Okay, I’m sorry; it’s just that I’m so upset I can hardly think!”
“What happened? Is Frank okay?”
“Yes, yes, we’re all okay, well sort of, I mean I’m not okay, well I’m not sick, I’m just upset!”
“Take a deep breath, why are you upset?”
“I was brushing my teeth, and the sun was shining off the mirror and…and that’s when I saw them.”
“Saw who?”
“At least six, maybe more…gray hairs! Can you imagine me with gray hair, Oh My God; I’m not ready to look like an old lady!”
“Viv? Are you saying you think I look like an old lady?”

You could cut the silence with a knife.

“No, Sunny you don’t look like an old lady, you look great with gray hair, it’s just not great on me.”
“Don’t you think you’re over reacting just a bit, it’s not like you turned white overnight!”
“It’s almost that bad, Frank’s going to be shocked.”
“Frank’s got a lot of gray, so why would he be shocked?”
“Because I’m his wife, I’m not supposed to be old!”
“I sure wish you’d stop equating gray hair with being old, and I doubt that Frank is going to be shocked over a few hairs.”
“They’re not just hairs…GRAY hairs!”

I really didn’t believe that I was having this conversation, with an intelligent, 54 year old woman over six maybe more gray hairs.

“Viv, I know you’re upset but I’m running late for an appointment, can I call you later. Everything is going to be fine.”
“I’ll let you go, talk to you later but everything is not going to be fine, probably ever again!”

I felt really badly for my friend as I hung up the phone but I knew she would calm down and see how silly this whole conversation had been and later when we talked again, we would laugh about it. Well at least I hoped we would!

Right after dinner, the phone rang, I picked up the receiver and before I could say a word; Viv announced in a very proud voice,

“I have solved the problem!”
“That’s great, did you color your hair?”
“No never! I simply plucked them, they’re gone, I’m happy and feel young again!”
“That’s great, I’m so happy that you’re feeling better.”
“Me too, I just wanted to let you know, talk soon. Bye.”

I think the world of my friend but I still couldn’t help think that in her own way she was saying that I was old, and that kind of hurt. Hmm…I wonder if I should tell her that my Grandmother always said that for every gray hair you pull out, you get seven back!